I've been really depressive these last weeks and i hate myself for it. I mean fuck i'm at quest what the else do i need to be happy. i've made friends, and even though its not the relationships i was expecting it is a lot better than it could have been. and im learning so much too like i've never been so intellectually stimulated in my life. Yet im still sobering over myself.
well theres one possible reason, maybe im just realizing that ill never understand whatever is missing for my life to make sense. In hearst i was ok with not knowing for now. But i thought quest would bring some sort of reason to live an answer a way to not look back on my life and wanting more. To feel like what i did was good and complete. And quest or my lifestyle is far away from getting me closer to this in fact people are kind of looking down on the foundation courses that are making me think so damn hard.So im sad that ill probly always be too dumb to reach a better understanding of life but at least it gives sense that i dont.
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